Grief Support & Ceremony
with Olive Howland Milne
What is a grief ceremony?
A grief ceremony is a space for loved ones to come together in a supported setting. It is time to explore, express, and witness grief following the death of a family member, partner, or friend.
Funerals can be an overwhelming process of emotion and logistics in the early period of grief. This is a different ceremony you may choose to have some time after the funeral / burial / memorial to honour the ongoing grief and love we carry.
The day may include a range of practices to allow crying, writing, drawing, speaking, relaxing, making noise, and other ways we may wish to express grief. This is also a space for the range of emotions grief can involve – sorrow, anger, confusion, numbness, gratitude, shame, regret.
This is an opportunity to make time for our grief by pausing our busy lives for a day and coming together to acknowledge our grief and love.
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Hosted by who?
I offer these ceremonies after studying and practicing community rituals for grief for the past five years. My background also includes training in anthropology, voice therapy, youth work, and craniosacral therapy. I have experience working with a wide range of age groups. The more I support and lead these spaces for grief, the more I am encouraged by the deep sense of release, resource, and authenticity that people experience. I also have an experienced assistant with me on the day.
The ceremony / day can be tailored to help meet the wants and needs of your family or friendship group. I am available to answer any questions you may have about me, what the day may look like, and anything that would help make it more accessible or suitable for the family/group.
Why have a grief ceremony?
It can be difficult in today’s world to find spaces where grief is truly welcome, where we can express the depth and breadth of our grief and love. This is a way to deeply honour what someone has meant to us and the love and pain we may now carry.
Sharing and processing emotion is hugely important for our mental health and overall wellbeing. Unexpressed grief can stagnate in our lives, bodies, families, and communities and this simple yet powerful practice of coming together in our grief can offer healing and connection. This is about our ability to feel. When we open to our grief, we open the way for other emotions to be felt more fully – our joy, peace, happiness.
There is a cultural pattern of forgetting and numbing our grief in different ways – perhaps because it is too painful, or we don’t know what ‘healthy’ grieving or grieving together looks like. So, there is a need to remember, and to express.
We may also be used to the idea the grieving happens alone, ‘out the way’, or in private. Grieving together – as a family, a community, as friends – allows us to see that grief is beyond any one person, and can be deeply healing and transformative when shared and acknowledged in this way.
*I also offer these spaces for other kinds of grief and loss (not necessarily related to the death of a person) so please be in touch if this interests you.
Where?
We can discuss venue options; I can recommend and book venues, or you may wish to have this at home or somewhere meaningful to you.
When?
You can have a grief ceremony at any time after the death and funeral of a loved one (it may have been weeks, months, or years). The day usually runs 10am-5pm with a group meal included – this can be adapted as needed.
Fee?
I offer a sliding scale of £600 - £900 for the day which includes a consultation, the day of ceremony, a shared meal, and a check-in group call (usually a week or two after the gathering). The venue costs are additional / separate to this as this will depend on where we choose.
Testimonials
"A heartfelt thank you for your warm and welcoming energy...
It really did feel like a retreat away from it all for the day. I felt calm and relaxed in the space.
I felt the day flowed smoothly from one task to the next and it was well structured. I liked that we all respected each others moment and allowed each other the space we needed to express our grief without dwelling or talking about it again afterwards. I felt safe and comfortable."
"The grief tending ceremony has not only helped me experience my grief in a safe environment, but also feel more compassion, kindness and tenderness towards myself and others. I felt understood and seen, which I don’t get enough in the outside world. The ceremony was a safe place to experience and express my feelings. I loved how it was structured, starting from building trust and safe space, then going deep into grief and ending with a lot of soothing. I feel it helped me make a lot of progress in processing my grief and finding more peace.
"It was an amazing experience for me. I have spent so much of my life suppressing my self expression and I am on a journey out of that darkness. ...allowing myself to feel my grief in a safe community, feeling held and not alone with it, was incredibly healing. It was like a voice telling me that I don’t have to be so scared any more of my own feelings.
1:1 Therapeutic Support
Holistic Voice Therapy
If you are looking for 1:1 support in your journey with grief, or with other challenges and themes in your life, I offer voice therapy sessions (as a qualified practitioner with the British Academy of Sound Therapy).
This is not vocal coaching or singing lessons, rather a guided space to explore your voice as a therapeutic tool for emotional, physical, mental, and energetic health. This therapy can be wonderfully supportive in improving overall wellbeing: benefits can include elevated mood and insight, as well as release of stress, anxiety, muscle tension, and pain. It is also a great way should you wish to explore the voice for expression, creativity, and fun.
Biodynamic Craniosacral Therapy
A gentle yet powerful form of hands-on body work.
Details and booking available soon.
Testimonials
"Olive holds space in such a way that I felt safe to explore my voice playfully with emotion and curiosity. I absolutely loved the creativity she sparked and I felt very lifted and bright at the end of the session"
"Olive created a deeply safe space for me to not only share some sensitive and private issues that I was
experiencing, but actually empowered me to use and enjoy the creative power of my voice to heal.
I surprised myself with how open I came into these sessions, and as a result I felt like I released a lot and
left feeling a lot lighter. I am very grateful for how open and adaptable Olive was, because each session I
was in a very different place, but I always felt welcome to be present with whatever was coming up. Thank
you so much for giving me such a great toolkit of vocal healing!"
"Olive has a wonderful way about her. She makes me feel calm and confident that I am in good hands.
She does not judge or comment and creates a space for me to relax and
explore."
Contact
For any other questions / queries, please get in touch via email and we can arrange a call.
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Email: olivehm@yahoo.co.uk
